Fiona Caine, a trained counsellor and columnist, offers her expertise to a woman whose husband has fallen out of love with her without an explanation after taking care of her during her 12 months long illness while pretending that everything is fine between them in front of others.
The Problem
After she had recovered and decided to rekindle the romance, she was devastated to hear her husband say that he no longer loves her. He had never indicated any sign of disinterest or resentment, pretends like everything is fine and still share the same bed and have no plans of separating but refuse to consider counselling or provide an explanation to his wife.
Understanding the Situation
Being in a situation of the woman can be devastating and confusing, but through the experiences of Fiona, the expert says that there must have been some resentment from the past that made him question his feelings for her and the fact that they are both growing old might have triggered his sudden change in behaviour.
How to Deal With Such Situation
- Ask For Clarity
As human beings, feelings can alter and whether or not the husband’s reaction was because of accumulated resentment or a sudden one, he owes an explanation even for the fact that they were together for 22 years.
- Be Realistic
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, you can start by making your partner understand the reality of his actions and stop sleeping together and do things that you would typically do as a couple.
- Encourage Conversation
Try harder to talk to him and push if you must but if he still refuses to talk, consider what severe measures you are willing to risk. Set a time limit to sort out their feelings and assess the situation after that.
- Seek a Counsellor Alone
If all else fails, Caine suggests considering counselling alone to help I understand the situation, gain emotional support and mental clarity. The counsellor can also help gain new perspectives to deal with new possible conditions such as a relationship without intimacy, an open relationship or separation. Counselling can also give you a new approach to deal with the situation without losing self-esteem and integrity.
